Victor Friedman

Victor Friedman, 92, a retired judge of the Superior Court of New Jersey, died on June 28, 2025. He was the cherished husband of the late Sally Friedman; beloved father of Jill (Jeff), Amy (David), and Nancy (Michael); fiercely proud grandfather of Hannah and Zay (Jessie Kravet) Smolar, Emily and Carly Appelbaum, and Sam, Jonah, and Danny Zinn; and brother-in-law of Ruth Rovner.

Born in Brooklyn, NY in 1932 to Russian Jewish immigrants, Vic grew up on a chicken farm in Perrineville, NJ; his nostalgia for the farm made it a favorite day trip destination for decades. His first language was Yiddish; as he learned English, he translated patriotic American songs into his family’s native tongue. Vic and his siblings attended a one room schoolhouse in Perrineville. After school and chores, he and his sister Phyllis would lie in the grass for hours, talking and watching the clouds. Once, when he returned from Washington DC after competing in a high school oratory contest, what felt like the entirety of their small town welcomed his train home. At his judicial installation in 1978, Vic described his now late mother Helen Friedman as his oldest friend and wisest teacher, his now late brother Gerald (Joe) Freedman as a role model, and his dear sister Phyllis Tolkowsky as an angel.

At Rutgers University, Vic savored his years in the ZBT fraternity, and later treasured enduring friendships with his brothers and their wives, who eagerly visited until the end of his life. Vic got by on his mother’s sacrifices, scholarships and jobs, working days and overnights at a grocery store, a bakery, a factory, and wherever else he could find work. His early ambition to become a dentist yielded to his abject failure in biology, and he pivoted to political science. As he achieved greater success as a lawyer and judge, Vic never forgot his roots, and treated everyone, regardless of status, with respect. He was beloved throughout the courthouse, but especially by the uniformed staff.

Despite their own poverty, Vic’s mother always could scratch up a meal for someone who needed one. The family revered President Franklin D. Roosevelt and wept when they learned of his death. In turn, Vic’s life was about fighting for the underdog. In his first crusade, at seven years old, he led other farm kids who earned pennies picking blueberries to advocate for better wages per pail of fruit; their demands were met, averting the strike Vic had threatened. He fought for many other causes, including rising passionately to the defense of a fraternity brother who was accused of stealing from the others. They wanted to expel the thief, but Vic argued that brotherhood demanded mercy and forgiveness. As a lawyer, he represented plaintiffs in civil cases and defendants in criminal matters, including a renowned court-appointed mob case where he brokered a plea deal earning the headline, “Get me a Friedman!”

Vic paused his law school education at Cornell University to serve for two years in the United States Air Force, where he earned the rank of Second Lieutenant. Though his superior officer noted that Vic had “absolutely no military bearing whatsoever,” he served proudly…and greatly enjoyed drinking beer with his compatriots.

After graduating from Cornell Law School, Vic began his legal practice in Trenton and Burlington, NJ. A law school friend introduced him to Sally Schwartz, then a college senior, who quickly became the love of Vic’s life; they married in Philadelphia in July, 1960. The couple settled in Willingboro, NJ, where they made good friends and helped cultivate a Jewish community. In the mid-1960s, Vic started his own law practice, and was soon joined by the late Louis A. Smith. As partners at Friedman and Smith (now Smith, Magram, Michaud, Colonna, P.C.), Vic and Lou built a highly successful practice and a lifelong family friendship. Vic also became heavily involved in civic life, serving as a founding board member of then Burlington County College.

Later, after moving to Moorestown, NJ, Vic served on the bench from 1978 to 2000 in the Superior Court, primarily in the Criminal Division. He never used a gavel, noting that if you need one, you have already lost your judicial authority. He stood to express admiration to jurors at the end of every trial; he believed that second to active military service, jury duty was the most important civic responsibility. One of Vic’s most consequential and impactful matters concerned racial profiling. After consolidating 18 cases in which motorists of color accused the NJ State Police of stopping them pretextually on the Turnpike, Vic granted the plaintiffs broad discovery of internal reports and other evidence they could use to investigate and prove profiling (in similar cases, other judges had not permitted access to these materials). In the face of substantial resistance, Vic held his ground, earning admiration for his integrity and fearlessness.

Vic was a champion napper and an animated, vivacious storyteller with comedic timing and a treasure trove of irreverent jokes. He relished a practical joke, once having a port-a-potty delivered to a friend’s front lawn. His grandchildren teased him about how he gesticulated energetically, even in his sleep. He and Sally read the newspapers voraciously throughout their lives, subscribing to four dailies and many other periodicals. His favorite section was the obituaries.

Vic loved every stage of his life, including his retirement. At his weekly men’s breakfast group, he enjoyed debating the issues of the day and learning new jokes. Vic took art classes and audited over 50 courses at the University of Pennsylvania. Sally encouraged him to visit the gym – though he rarely used a treadmill or any other piece of exercise equipment, he enjoyed resting at the snack bar and schmoozing with friends. Vic and Sally became inseparable, and he was profoundly supportive of her celebrated writing career and proud of her accomplishments. He continued to drive and accompanied her on story assignments well into his 80s.

Happy to live as the only man in a house full of strong-willed women, Vic was an early feminist and raised three of them. He made a game of quizzing his trio of daughters on the almanac and posing moral dilemmas. He grew adept at settling squabbles and healing bruised feelings by assuring Sally and the girls that “everything will be okay, everything will be just fine.” Dinners at the Friedman table were raucous affairs featuring hours of debate and laughter, starting every night at 6:00, when Vic came through the door. Sally and Vic warmly welcomed guests to every Passover seder and loved presiding at a bustling Rosh HaShana or Thanksgiving dinner. As a grandfather, “Pa” was famous for scrambled eggs, leaving lengthy, silly birthday messages, and writing and illustrating a hilarious cartoon family newsletter.

Both Vic and Sally developed dementia at the end of their lives. Though his illness deprived him of many things, Vic maintained his warmth and dignity, his protectiveness of Sally, his comfort in spending time with the family and pride in his grandchildren – and perhaps most of all, his appetite for brisket and chocolate cake. He and Sally held hands day and night until her death in January. Vic died almost exactly six months after she did, in the same week as their 65th wedding anniversary.

The Friedman family extends enormous gratitude to Mari, who took loving care of both Vic and Sally during their illness. They also thank Annette, Flore, Joan, Lisa, Sharon, Sharylanda, Tiko, Unetta, Serenity Hospice, and others who did so much to bring them comfort.

Services were private. The Friedmans plan to celebrate Vic’s and Sally’s lives with friends in coming months.

In his own words, Vic was entrusted with important work, and was grateful to have been permitted the honor of being a temporary steward of a sacred trust…a temporary guardian of justice. Donations in Vic’s memory may be made to the Brennan Center for Justice at NYU School of Law by visiting brennancenter.org/VictorFriedman or by mailing a check with “Victor Friedman” in the memo line to:

The Brennan Center for Justice

c/o Development

120 Broadway

Suite 1750

New York, NY 10271

www.levinefuneral.com